Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Hello football fans and welcome to another installment of Stroll down the NFL Boulevard. With 6 teams on their bye week we had some key match up’s. Teams with a bye this week are Arizona, Atlanta, Baltimore, Dallas, Kansas City, and Seattle. So let’s get down to it. Start the Music.
Nothing would be finer than to be in Carolina on Sunday. That is exactly what Peyton Manning thought as he went into the game against the Panthers. Too bad that John Fox, the Panthers Head Coach, thought that this was over time and the first team to score wins. Carolina took the opening kickoff and drove 80 yards in 11 minutes to score a touchdown. But after that first drive, Fox looked dazed and confused the rest of the day. So much so that he inserted David Carr after halftime. Carr did absolutely nothing to improve the Carolina offense. Manning drove up and down the field like he was in a United Way commercial scoring on the Panthers until the game was over, which for all intents and purposes was halftime, when Carr took the helm. Manning has finally gotten a victory against all the other 31 teams in the NFL. I would say Congratulations Peyton, but I am sure we will see a commercial touting this feat so we will hold off for now.
Final Score 31 to 7.
In Tennessee, defense is the key. And their defense showed us why they are ranked high. Vince Young had a great game by Reggie Bush’s standards passing 14 times and completing only 6 for 42 yards. A closer look into the stats shows us that Vince has 11 wins and 5 Losses in his last 16 starts. Not too bad for a Texas Quarterback. Raider Kicker Janikowski, the polish phenom became the Raiders all time leading kicker, but we think Raider Coach, Lane Kiffin would rather have had a win instead.
Final Score was Raiders 9 Titans 16.
Hey Lovie, are you the great Pumpkin? Hey, did you have Pumpkin pie on your mind this week? Did you guys practice at all? Brian Griese did his best interpretation of Rex Grossman by throwing 4 interceptions. Give me a break. This team played like Nell Carter, old and slow. What was with the Orange Jersey’s? Detroit carved you up like the pumpkin you were dressed like. Detroit won both games against you in 2007, we hope you are embarrassed, you should be. Horrid is the only word we can think of for those Jersey’s and your play.
Final Score Freaking Detroit 16 Da Bears 7. Oh My God!!!
One of the other teams that wear Orange, for some reason, is the Cincinnati Bengals. They put up their normal effort against the Pittsburgh Steelers this week. Just like they have the last 7 times Pittsburgh came to town, Cincinnati folded like a cheap lawn chair. We will give them some credit scoring a touchdown in the fourth quarter. Too bad they had given up 21 points in the first half. This is a long time in coming but this week’s Birth Cannel Team of the week is the Cincinnati Bengals. Thanks Marvin Lewis, you keep not living up to your resume and we will keep pointing it out.
Final Score was Pittsburgh Steelers 24 Cincinnati Bengals 13.
The Cleveland Browns wear Orange as well; so let’s get them out of the way. Romeo you finally have your teams’ head above water at 4 and 3. That is great, we are so glad that you guys got to play 0 and 8 Miami and St Louis in back to back games, gosh I guess you needed that bye in between didn’t you. One of your other wins came against Cincinnati, yuck. St Louis you are starting to play better with your back ups and you are showing heart, but you have to get a win, keep trying.
Final Score was Browns 27 to Rams 20.
In Minnesota the Viqueens coach Brad Childress decided to start the greatest running back since Reggie Bush, Adrian Peterson. In looking at his stats we see that 20 carries is quite a load as well as the 70 yards he got. A long of 17 yards shows 19 carries for 53 yards 3.11 yards per carry. And you only touched the ball 2 more time during the game, both on returns. Looks like Kelly Holcomb fell off the Quarterback carousel and right onto his head, and you Brad Childress, put in Brooks Bollinger. Are you kidding me, this guy couldn’t play ahead of Chad Pennington while with the Jets. Okay on to Philadelphia, I guess that Donavan McNabb is finally ready to play after rehabbing his injury. Too bad you had to play thru it. Good job I guess you guys beat a team that can’t seem to get out of its own way.
Final Score was Philadelphia 23 Viqueens 16. Ha.
Looks like Quinn Gray is not as bad as he played against Indianapolis last Monday. Or did Jack Del Rio realize he wasn’t an ostrich? With his head up and looking around he could call a play or two to win the game against the Buccaneers. Jeff Garcia could not work his magic. A stout Jaguar defense scored once and intercepted the Buccan ball three Buccan times and made a winner out of Quinn Gray. I repeat “a winner out of Quinn Gray. What is this world coming to?
Score was Jacksonville 24 Tampa Bay 23, close is close.
And now for something completely pity full, the Buffalo Bills and the New York Football Jets, I guess we should talk about this game. So stupid is as stupid does sir! Buffalo Quarterback Trent Edwards got hurt so former starter J.P Losman came in to clean up the win for Buffalo. Only one word can descried this game, boring, dull, uninspired, unwatchable, crappy, incredulous, you pick. We are positive the footage of this game didn’t make it out of the state of New York, or the state of inebriation that the fans must have been in to stay as long as they did. The Stroll just threw up in its mouth a little talking about this game.
Final score Bills 13 Jets 3.
London Bridge is falling down; falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down, my fair Dolphins. We saw that huge robotic statue of Jason Taylor walking around London and we can only guess that Eli Manning saw it as well. It must have caused him to have nightmares. A look at the stats shows an amazing 8 completions in 22 attempts for a whole 59 yards for Manning. We didn’t know Peyton had a sister playing for New York. Good lord “Cutie Cleo Lemon Pie” passed for almost 3 times that of “Ellie” Manning. Just a note to Miami Coach Cam Cameron, maybe some of those fantastic adjustments you guys are making a halftime should be made just after the game starts. Once again the Dolphins win the second half 10 to 0 but lose the first half 13 to 0. Hey Giants a quick look into your stats show that you have lost to two teams with a combined record of 12 and 2. And you have beaten 6 teams with a combined 14 and 37. Only one of those teams has a winning record. You have beaten the teams you should have beaten. Thank goodness if not you would have been “Dust in the Wind” You’re my boy Blue.
Final score NYFG 13 Miami 10
The fires in Southern California caused the Chargers to move their practice to Arizona. Obviously the Cardinals were on their bye week, but who could tell. During the game volunteers collected Money from those in attendance for the fire fighters and families of those displaced. That is great. Is anyone saying that Norv Turner can’t score anymore? He showed up to the game with bright red lipstick on his collar, and a pocket full of $1 dollar bills, not sure if he was getting ready for later or had started early. Just so you know the Chargers were playing Houston. Again we ask the Rhetorical question “why is Matt Schuab still starting”. You know the old saying “When Matt Schuab plays, people quit watching.
Final Score was Chargers 35 Houston 10. But this game was over before halftime.
Hey Sean Peyton classy move in the fourth quarter, we at the Stroll noticed. Reggie Bush got his groove on in San Francisco. I mean if you haven’t seen the highlights of this game, find them, because this maybe one of Reggie Bush’s greatest Games ever. Let’s take a look at the stats: 10 rushes for 64 yards with a long of 20 yards. A closer look shows that he actually had 9 carries for 44 yards that is almost 5 yards per carry, now that is hauling the load. Reggie also caught the ball 7 times for 49 yards, with a long of 25. So the actual Receiving stats are 6 catches for 24 yards. So for those of you playing at home Reggie touched the ball 17 times for 113 yards. Best game ever? Best Game so far for sure. Thank goodness Reggie finally got over the100 total yard plateau. During the Game the Saints had 11 drives and Reggie touched the ball 17 times, averaging almost 2 touches per drive. Hey San Francisco we are not sure what is wrong with your team, other than you play in San Francisco, which could be enough.
Final Score Saints 35 49ers 10.
In New England Tom Brady was heard yelling across the field to Washington Redskins head coach Joe Gibbs, ‘I’m Hopped up on Mountain Dew and Gatorade old man. I’m going to be all over you like a spider Monkey”. Coach Gibbs should have left right then, but he didn’t and he watched the debacle that was the game. We wish we could be happy for the Patriots, but we can’t. The classless move that New England has shown over the past several weeks is sticking with us. There was no reason to run the score up against the Redskins. Up 38 points in the fourth quarter you are still throwing the ball, that is Chicken S*** and you know it. If you are trying to push the NFL Fans away you are doing a good job of it. Coach Belichick you should be ashamed of your self, we are. If we could say “you suck” we would but we can’t here so we won’t. Washington we are sorry you had to be fed to the beast but honestly you should have put up more of a fight, What New England did was terrible, what Washington did was equal to standing on top of your flooded house and waiting for FEMA to come rescue you. Hey Joe Gibbs a little bit of a game plan would have been nice. God helps those who help themselves.
Final Score was Pats 52 Washington 7
In Denver when Jason Elam kicks a field goal in the last seconds of a game they win. Well nobody told Brett Favre, his wife, or the producers of the Brett Favre Tribute show before and during the broadcast. We are a fan of football here and respect what Favre has done throughout his career, but come on. His wife reading a poem, being in the booth, making Football comments, Hey, if we what to know what Brett Favre’s wife thinks we will ask her, no need for her to do a cover story on Monday night Football. This year ESPN has tried to go old school on us by bringing back the Booth interview, but somehow Brett Favre’s wife, Jimmy Kimmel, and Vince Vaughn just don’t add up to John Lennon. Imagine that? Sorry, back to the game I guess in Hindsight the Broncos thought the game was over at the end of regulation because on the first play of Overtime Farve threw one deep and corner Dre’ Bly just quit when the receiver got behind him. Catch made, game over, Legend lives on. Wow.
Final score was Packers 19 Broncos 13.
Well I sure hope that you enjoy the Stroll this week, I have had a great time doing it this week. Just so you know the thoughts, opinions, and gripes are my own made by me from me and are the intellectual property of me. I have been wrong before and might be wrong again.
And remember like I always say….
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 7
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Welcome to another Stroll down the Boulevard. A lot has happened this week, so let’s get started. Teams with a bye this week are Cleveland, Green Bay, San Diego, and Carolina. Start the music.
In a barn burner of a game the Redskins of Washington proved that pimping is not easy. They had a hard fought battle against the Arizona Cardinals. Kurt Warner showed why he is a two time MVP by playing with only one arm. He engineered a late drive getting the Cardinals only 1 yard away from the Redskins end zone, then with only seconds to play Cardinals Coach Ken Whisenhunt realized the Warner only had one arm and removed him from the game for Tim Rattay. Tim Rattay threw a touchdown pass from the one and the Cardinals trailed by two. Then the Cardinal Coaches, from the booth told Ken Whisenhunt that Tim Rattay had just signed last Wednesday and that he didn’t know enough of the offense. So coach Whisenhunt pulled out the old double switch he learned in little league, and on the two point conversion attempt moved Rattay to Wide Receiver and Anquan Bouldin to Quarterback. This confused the Redskins so much that they nearly tackled Bouldin for a loss, on a sweep to the right. But Bouldin threw the ball to safety Leonard Landry for an interception. Neil Rackers had a chance to win the game after a successful onside kick, but these are the Cardinals. I can’t stress this enough, these are the Cardinals and Rackers’ 53 yard field goal attempt was “Just a bit outside”.
Final Score Washington 21 Arizona 19,
The New York Football Giants flexed their muscle against a San Francisco 49ers team that looked over matched from the outset. The 49ers realized one of the few truisms in the NFL; you can’t cross the country and win. They started Trent Dilfer at quarterback, I thought he was out of the league, and now he wishes he had been. Michael Strahan was told that his training camp was now over and he could start playing; he had a good game with 2.5 sacks. The rest of the Giant Defense proved to be too much for Dilfer behind the junior high school line that coach Mike Nolan used. Honestly I have seen better lines drawn in the sand. Giants win again, but until they play somebody this can only give false hope to a city that plays its football in a cemetery, check out the End zone for the dead bones of Jimmy Hoffa.
Final Score 49ers 15 Giants 38
In the upcoming week the NFL is going to have a game played outside of the United States. Now the Buffalo Bills have decided to petition their stadium officials to play a game in Toronto Canada. I heard this and thought that it might be a good idea. Getting Buffalo out of the country would be a good thing. Then along comes the Baltimore Ravens, and they did their impersonation of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. They showed just how ready they were for a break. In Baltimore tires were heard screeching from the parking lot as the SUV’s and the Mercedes were leaving with players heading for their bye week. .
Final Score was Baltimore 14 Buffalo 19.
Speaking of playing a game outside the US, The Dolphins saw only England on the Schedule and thought they were playing there this week. They decided to get a jump on the game and moved practice across the ocean. Then the League informed head coach Ken Cameron that they were playing New England in Florida. The Dolphins got back to town as quickly as they could, but Tom Brady had thrown 6 touchdowns passes in warm ups. What? Wait a minute that was in the first half? The Dolphins must have arrived at half time and got on to the field to hold the vaunted Patriot running attack to only one score in the second half. This happens all too often, Dolphins win the second half 28 to 7, but lose the first half 42 to 0.
Final Score was New England 49 Dolphins 28
The Buccaneers roared into Detroit with the former Lion Quarterback Jeff Garcia. Apparently Garcia owed the Lions a favor or two, has he fumbled a snap and fumbled a handoff costing the Buccaneers the game. “I should have kept the Buccan ball in my Buccan hands” was all he said on the sidelines as he cheered the Lions on to victory. When Detroit scores more points than their opponents they win, when they don’t they lose. It does not get any easier than that.
Final Score Detroit 23 Buccaneers 16, see how that work out???
In a game of Former Houston Oilers versus Current Oilers in Houston, the Current Oilers put up a hard fought battle. Former University of Texas Quarterback and Houston Native Vince Young decided he didn’t need to play since Matt Schuab was playing for the Current Oilers. But Matt got hurt and the Current Oilers twirled their Spice Rack and pulled out the Sage Rosenfels and sprinkled it into the huddle. It worked as the Former Oilers Sneezed until the game the Current Oilers were ahead. Kerry Collins asked Vince what to do, and Vince told him to drive down the field and let the kicker win the game for you. Collins did just that has Rod Bironas kicked his 8th field goal of the day setting an NFL record. Congrats Rod you have two good legs and Heather Mills only has one, but she has Paul McCartney’s Baby and lots of his Money.
Final Score Current Oilers (Texans) 36 to Former Oilers (Titans) 38.
And now on to something no one cares about, The Chiefs and Raiders. I know the old saying is “That’s why they play the game”. But “Why did they play this game?” Sometimes life is like a box of Chocolates, but this game was like biting into a crunchy frog. Spam, Spam and more Spam, I really didn’t know that this game was played until I saw the final score. Ho Hum Chiefs Win. Wahoo!!!
Final Score was Chiefs 12 Raiders 10, but why??
Well the Bengals finally showed up for a game on Sunday. It just happened to be against the hapless J.E.T.S Jets, Jets, Jets. Is this the team that really went to the playoffs last year? I don’t think so. The Jets have changed uniforms, that didn’t help, they scored 31 points this week but like a Crack fiend it just wasn’t enough. Bengals fans if you are still living in Cincinnati I am sorry, but you win this week. Jet players were heard saying as they left the field, “Don’t blame Chad Pennington for this, we are all terrible”. 12 men in the huddle and an intentional grounding in the first half Cincinnati didn’t get it going until the fourth quarter with 21 points. In a game that might decide who has the 7th or 8th pick in the draft next years, so what…
Final Score Jets 31 Bengals 38 yuck.
Hello Seattle, you are on the air. You guys need Frasier Crane in your head. At least there would be something in there. You put away your Panties and bra for one game, but you are playing a team of back ups, St Louis is not that strong. But it was a division game and you played well enough to win, but 4 field goals might not be good enough to win against a better opponent. Great Coaching Mike Holmgren telling your kick returner to make a play. Maybe you should tell your Quarterback the same thing? Are you testing out that coaching move before you use it?? Rams I can’t comment on your play, until you start to play some starters.
Score at the end Seahawks 33 Rams 6
Like the winds of Hurricane Katrina, Reggie Bush you, came to New Orleans or cesspool which it is. If this Country needs water New Orleans could supply it but the water would probably have too much urine in it. Looking at the stats Reggie had 17 carries for 54 yards with a long of 9. In a deeper look we that 16 carries for 45 yards is a 2.8 yards per carry. Wow that is so great. Looking even deeper at the stats in the last 2 minutes of the game you had 5 carries for 16 yards, giving the first 58 minutes of stats 12 carries 29 yards that is 2.4 yards per carry. Now I ask you, is that carrying the load? Did you hear the Fans chanting REG-GIE? Come on, are they that stupid? Hey New Orleans you have to play who is on your schedule but the Falcons haven’t been the same team since the first puppy was drowned. Good Luck, Atlanta when does hockey Start? Saints win but we are still waiting for the substance to catch up with the hype, two wins so far.
Final Score New Orleans 22 Atlanta 16
In Dallas the Viqueens put their strong rushing defense to the test. The Cowboys Running back Marion Barber III ran on the Minnesota defense like butter on biscuit. Looking into the stats we see the Marion the Barbarian had 19 carries for 96 yards, with a long of 24 yards making the actual stats 18 carries for 72 yards a 4 yard per carry average. Adrian Peterson, the next best thing to Reggie Bush, had 12 carries for 63 yards with a long of 20 yards. Huh two running backs each with 20 yard carries for their long, REG-GIE you had one for 9. Sorry, we are fair and balanced, that means that Peterson had 11 carries for 43 yards for a 3.9 yards per carry. Wow not much more to say but the Cowboys Dominated the game in the first half everywhere except the Score. Down 14 to 7 at half Tony Romo talked to his devil at halftime. And the Cowboys pulled out another win.
Final Score was Cowboys 24 to Viqueens 14.
Everything is not always sunny in Philadelphia. I thought that Philadelphia would put up a fight, play hard, and show some heart. I guess I was wrong. I have been wrong in the past and will be again in the future. Hey Andy Reid you are coaching like Peter Griffin, can you only beat the Jets and Lions? They are not on the schedule anymore. It was nice to play 58 minutes but this game is 60 minutes long. And with 1:57 left and no time outs left you let Brian freaking Griese run the 2 minute drill, drive 97 freaking yards and score a freaking touchdown to beat you. This weeks Birth Cannel team of the week is the freaking Philadelphia Eagles. Not much else to say. Hey Lovie Smith maybe a session with Bob Hartley could help you figure out this team, but that may be stretching it a little. Lose a game; win a game, how about you keep your team focused for a two weeks in a row.
Final Score Da Bears 19 the Philadelphia Eagle 16.
Sunday night in the cold of Denver Co the Rockies kicked around the Pittsburg Pirates. Sorry I had baseball on my mind. The great Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made a huge comeback only to be beaten in the end by some guy with two strong legs. This time it was Jason Elam. Mike Shanahan was tickled with the win; “At Least some of the Rockies magic rubbed off on us” was heard as he was leaving the field. Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall was so excited he was pulled over and taken to jail on drunken driving charges. Hey kids, remember nothing good happens after 11PM; that is why you should be in bed. Denver coach should have mentioned that in the post game speech.
The final Score Denver 31 Pittsburg 28.
Do you like 6 foot 5, 230 pound, Sony TV watching, Quarterbacks? Indianapolis does. Jacksonville doesn’t. You had great game plan Jack Del Rio. But did you know that when David Garrard went down with an injury you would have to use Quinn Gray? Do you still think you have a capable backup? I guess not, as you stuck your head in the sand until it was over. Rushing the ball against the Colts last year was a good idea, I guess this year pretending to be an Ostrich worked out for you. If I were you, I would not want to watch that debacle either. A look into the stats shows 17 of 36 for 138 yards passing for the Jaguars not eve 50%. I thought, for a moment, I was watching a bad 70’s sitcom and waiting for Jack Tripper to fall down. Who is the best Football team in the NFL this year? Not sure, but Colts are not too far down the list, and Jacksonville is.
The Final Score was Colts 29 Jaguars 7.
Well I hope everyone has enjoyed this as much as I have putting it together. I look forward to next week Same Stroll day Same Stroll time.
Remember like I always say…
Welcome to another Stroll down the Boulevard. A lot has happened this week, so let’s get started. Teams with a bye this week are Cleveland, Green Bay, San Diego, and Carolina. Start the music.
In a barn burner of a game the Redskins of Washington proved that pimping is not easy. They had a hard fought battle against the Arizona Cardinals. Kurt Warner showed why he is a two time MVP by playing with only one arm. He engineered a late drive getting the Cardinals only 1 yard away from the Redskins end zone, then with only seconds to play Cardinals Coach Ken Whisenhunt realized the Warner only had one arm and removed him from the game for Tim Rattay. Tim Rattay threw a touchdown pass from the one and the Cardinals trailed by two. Then the Cardinal Coaches, from the booth told Ken Whisenhunt that Tim Rattay had just signed last Wednesday and that he didn’t know enough of the offense. So coach Whisenhunt pulled out the old double switch he learned in little league, and on the two point conversion attempt moved Rattay to Wide Receiver and Anquan Bouldin to Quarterback. This confused the Redskins so much that they nearly tackled Bouldin for a loss, on a sweep to the right. But Bouldin threw the ball to safety Leonard Landry for an interception. Neil Rackers had a chance to win the game after a successful onside kick, but these are the Cardinals. I can’t stress this enough, these are the Cardinals and Rackers’ 53 yard field goal attempt was “Just a bit outside”.
Final Score Washington 21 Arizona 19,
The New York Football Giants flexed their muscle against a San Francisco 49ers team that looked over matched from the outset. The 49ers realized one of the few truisms in the NFL; you can’t cross the country and win. They started Trent Dilfer at quarterback, I thought he was out of the league, and now he wishes he had been. Michael Strahan was told that his training camp was now over and he could start playing; he had a good game with 2.5 sacks. The rest of the Giant Defense proved to be too much for Dilfer behind the junior high school line that coach Mike Nolan used. Honestly I have seen better lines drawn in the sand. Giants win again, but until they play somebody this can only give false hope to a city that plays its football in a cemetery, check out the End zone for the dead bones of Jimmy Hoffa.
Final Score 49ers 15 Giants 38
In the upcoming week the NFL is going to have a game played outside of the United States. Now the Buffalo Bills have decided to petition their stadium officials to play a game in Toronto Canada. I heard this and thought that it might be a good idea. Getting Buffalo out of the country would be a good thing. Then along comes the Baltimore Ravens, and they did their impersonation of the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz. They showed just how ready they were for a break. In Baltimore tires were heard screeching from the parking lot as the SUV’s and the Mercedes were leaving with players heading for their bye week. .
Final Score was Baltimore 14 Buffalo 19.
Speaking of playing a game outside the US, The Dolphins saw only England on the Schedule and thought they were playing there this week. They decided to get a jump on the game and moved practice across the ocean. Then the League informed head coach Ken Cameron that they were playing New England in Florida. The Dolphins got back to town as quickly as they could, but Tom Brady had thrown 6 touchdowns passes in warm ups. What? Wait a minute that was in the first half? The Dolphins must have arrived at half time and got on to the field to hold the vaunted Patriot running attack to only one score in the second half. This happens all too often, Dolphins win the second half 28 to 7, but lose the first half 42 to 0.
Final Score was New England 49 Dolphins 28
The Buccaneers roared into Detroit with the former Lion Quarterback Jeff Garcia. Apparently Garcia owed the Lions a favor or two, has he fumbled a snap and fumbled a handoff costing the Buccaneers the game. “I should have kept the Buccan ball in my Buccan hands” was all he said on the sidelines as he cheered the Lions on to victory. When Detroit scores more points than their opponents they win, when they don’t they lose. It does not get any easier than that.
Final Score Detroit 23 Buccaneers 16, see how that work out???
In a game of Former Houston Oilers versus Current Oilers in Houston, the Current Oilers put up a hard fought battle. Former University of Texas Quarterback and Houston Native Vince Young decided he didn’t need to play since Matt Schuab was playing for the Current Oilers. But Matt got hurt and the Current Oilers twirled their Spice Rack and pulled out the Sage Rosenfels and sprinkled it into the huddle. It worked as the Former Oilers Sneezed until the game the Current Oilers were ahead. Kerry Collins asked Vince what to do, and Vince told him to drive down the field and let the kicker win the game for you. Collins did just that has Rod Bironas kicked his 8th field goal of the day setting an NFL record. Congrats Rod you have two good legs and Heather Mills only has one, but she has Paul McCartney’s Baby and lots of his Money.
Final Score Current Oilers (Texans) 36 to Former Oilers (Titans) 38.
And now on to something no one cares about, The Chiefs and Raiders. I know the old saying is “That’s why they play the game”. But “Why did they play this game?” Sometimes life is like a box of Chocolates, but this game was like biting into a crunchy frog. Spam, Spam and more Spam, I really didn’t know that this game was played until I saw the final score. Ho Hum Chiefs Win. Wahoo!!!
Final Score was Chiefs 12 Raiders 10, but why??
Well the Bengals finally showed up for a game on Sunday. It just happened to be against the hapless J.E.T.S Jets, Jets, Jets. Is this the team that really went to the playoffs last year? I don’t think so. The Jets have changed uniforms, that didn’t help, they scored 31 points this week but like a Crack fiend it just wasn’t enough. Bengals fans if you are still living in Cincinnati I am sorry, but you win this week. Jet players were heard saying as they left the field, “Don’t blame Chad Pennington for this, we are all terrible”. 12 men in the huddle and an intentional grounding in the first half Cincinnati didn’t get it going until the fourth quarter with 21 points. In a game that might decide who has the 7th or 8th pick in the draft next years, so what…
Final Score Jets 31 Bengals 38 yuck.
Hello Seattle, you are on the air. You guys need Frasier Crane in your head. At least there would be something in there. You put away your Panties and bra for one game, but you are playing a team of back ups, St Louis is not that strong. But it was a division game and you played well enough to win, but 4 field goals might not be good enough to win against a better opponent. Great Coaching Mike Holmgren telling your kick returner to make a play. Maybe you should tell your Quarterback the same thing? Are you testing out that coaching move before you use it?? Rams I can’t comment on your play, until you start to play some starters.
Score at the end Seahawks 33 Rams 6
Like the winds of Hurricane Katrina, Reggie Bush you, came to New Orleans or cesspool which it is. If this Country needs water New Orleans could supply it but the water would probably have too much urine in it. Looking at the stats Reggie had 17 carries for 54 yards with a long of 9. In a deeper look we that 16 carries for 45 yards is a 2.8 yards per carry. Wow that is so great. Looking even deeper at the stats in the last 2 minutes of the game you had 5 carries for 16 yards, giving the first 58 minutes of stats 12 carries 29 yards that is 2.4 yards per carry. Now I ask you, is that carrying the load? Did you hear the Fans chanting REG-GIE? Come on, are they that stupid? Hey New Orleans you have to play who is on your schedule but the Falcons haven’t been the same team since the first puppy was drowned. Good Luck, Atlanta when does hockey Start? Saints win but we are still waiting for the substance to catch up with the hype, two wins so far.
Final Score New Orleans 22 Atlanta 16
In Dallas the Viqueens put their strong rushing defense to the test. The Cowboys Running back Marion Barber III ran on the Minnesota defense like butter on biscuit. Looking into the stats we see the Marion the Barbarian had 19 carries for 96 yards, with a long of 24 yards making the actual stats 18 carries for 72 yards a 4 yard per carry average. Adrian Peterson, the next best thing to Reggie Bush, had 12 carries for 63 yards with a long of 20 yards. Huh two running backs each with 20 yard carries for their long, REG-GIE you had one for 9. Sorry, we are fair and balanced, that means that Peterson had 11 carries for 43 yards for a 3.9 yards per carry. Wow not much more to say but the Cowboys Dominated the game in the first half everywhere except the Score. Down 14 to 7 at half Tony Romo talked to his devil at halftime. And the Cowboys pulled out another win.
Final Score was Cowboys 24 to Viqueens 14.
Everything is not always sunny in Philadelphia. I thought that Philadelphia would put up a fight, play hard, and show some heart. I guess I was wrong. I have been wrong in the past and will be again in the future. Hey Andy Reid you are coaching like Peter Griffin, can you only beat the Jets and Lions? They are not on the schedule anymore. It was nice to play 58 minutes but this game is 60 minutes long. And with 1:57 left and no time outs left you let Brian freaking Griese run the 2 minute drill, drive 97 freaking yards and score a freaking touchdown to beat you. This weeks Birth Cannel team of the week is the freaking Philadelphia Eagles. Not much else to say. Hey Lovie Smith maybe a session with Bob Hartley could help you figure out this team, but that may be stretching it a little. Lose a game; win a game, how about you keep your team focused for a two weeks in a row.
Final Score Da Bears 19 the Philadelphia Eagle 16.
Sunday night in the cold of Denver Co the Rockies kicked around the Pittsburg Pirates. Sorry I had baseball on my mind. The great Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger made a huge comeback only to be beaten in the end by some guy with two strong legs. This time it was Jason Elam. Mike Shanahan was tickled with the win; “At Least some of the Rockies magic rubbed off on us” was heard as he was leaving the field. Wide Receiver Brandon Marshall was so excited he was pulled over and taken to jail on drunken driving charges. Hey kids, remember nothing good happens after 11PM; that is why you should be in bed. Denver coach should have mentioned that in the post game speech.
The final Score Denver 31 Pittsburg 28.
Do you like 6 foot 5, 230 pound, Sony TV watching, Quarterbacks? Indianapolis does. Jacksonville doesn’t. You had great game plan Jack Del Rio. But did you know that when David Garrard went down with an injury you would have to use Quinn Gray? Do you still think you have a capable backup? I guess not, as you stuck your head in the sand until it was over. Rushing the ball against the Colts last year was a good idea, I guess this year pretending to be an Ostrich worked out for you. If I were you, I would not want to watch that debacle either. A look into the stats shows 17 of 36 for 138 yards passing for the Jaguars not eve 50%. I thought, for a moment, I was watching a bad 70’s sitcom and waiting for Jack Tripper to fall down. Who is the best Football team in the NFL this year? Not sure, but Colts are not too far down the list, and Jacksonville is.
The Final Score was Colts 29 Jaguars 7.
Well I hope everyone has enjoyed this as much as I have putting it together. I look forward to next week Same Stroll day Same Stroll time.
Remember like I always say…
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard
Here is another installment of this week in the NFL with a new twist. The Stroll down the NFL Boulevard will discuss each game with thoughts, stats, and opinions. The Opinions expressed here are mine but I can be wrong from time to time. So let’s get started. Start the music…
Let us talk about the Game before the game. The “Pre game” as it were. There are currently 5 pre game shows. Together they would be a jumbled up mess, however some networks go out of their way to screw it up. I have a couple of comments:
1. CBS: What does the horse mouth Shannon Sharpe bring to the table but those huge teeth??? I have not found anything he said to be remotely funny, or intelligent. Everyone there needs to stop laughing when he says something because it just encourages him to speak again. Hey Shannon “find some cable access show to be on in Canada” because you are terrible.
2. ESPN: Tom Jackson is probably the best in the business. He can tell you what is supposed to happen when it should happen and why it didn’t happen. Hey, ESPN you should have a 15 minute segment, let him talk and be done. Keyshaun Johnson should be catching passes or coaching for U$C… and Emmitt Smith, I love you man, but your Momma should have told you not to talk with your mouth full. I thought Quincy Carter had a hard time getting out of the way of his big horse tongue, but you, my friend, are terrible. And why oh why would anyone want to give the huge Tuna Cake a job? Bill Parcells brings his unique thoughts to the ESPN pre game show. I guess they only wanted someone who could create a lucent thought 58% of the time. Hey ESPN careful what you wish for you might just get it?
3. Fox Sports Network: This might the best one out there. However they tape their show on Thursday and start showing it over and over beating the horse until it has been dead for 2 days. Stop it!!! Please; I heard what you had to say two days ago. New information has come out and you keep reporting the same thing. If you want up to the minute last Thursday information this is the show to watch. It is great on Friday, but Sunday Morning I want a little more than Thursday news. If I want to hear about Last Thursday I will reread the newspaper.
4. Fox: Kurt Menefee I don’t have a problem with you but you are no James Brown, or Bob Costas for that matter. Reading the Local Sports is fine where ever you want to do it, Dallas, New York, Los Angles. Fine just read it, but do not, I repeat do not, engage these panelist in conversation it only shows how stupid they are. Jimmy Johnson had 2, count them 2, great seasons with 3, possibly 5 to 7 without the East coast bias, Hall of Famers on your team in their prime, don’t tell me you did anything in Miami but collect money to buy the Boat that you now live on. Your legacy may live on just like someone else we know that won two Super bowls but nothing else, Huh Tuna Cakes??? .
5. NBC: Are you trying to kill Primetime Football? Chris Collinsworth should team up with Tiki Barber in some suicide pact. If all you do is say the first thing that comes into your head someone should censor you by cutting off your head so you make no more stupid points. I have listened to Chris for years in the Booth and Lucent NFL points were hard for him to come by. Then when CBS lost him to NBC, they got down on their knees and thanked the heavens above. If any thing intelligent came out of his mouth it would be a first. Bob Costas should say “Thanks Chris for your comments we are all dumber now”.
After that beating let us get started on the games.
You know what 11minus 8 equals??? 0-6. poor St Louis out of your 11 offensive starters on opening day you have 3 left, you can’t win many games with backups or backups to backups. I wish you well, Baltimore on the other hand, you should be proud you held a team of backups to 3 points. Your vaunted defense is really laying the wood to folks. But your offense Scored 6 times which is fabulous. 5 field goals and one touchdown, yeomen’s work. St Louis might be struggling but Baltimore you should bury the teams you are supposed to bury.
Score Baltimore 22 St Louis 3.
Someone must have told the Bears that the Viqueens were going to be Bear hunting in the suit Homer Simpson wore when he went bear hunting, because they rolled over and played dead. I know the score, but gosh almighty this is tackle football. Did anyone tell the Bear defense that before the game? This is not touch Football. Let’s take a look at the stats. Adrian Peterson had 20 carries for 224 yards. A further look shows this break down, one rush of 73, one for 67 and one for 35. Wow that is 205 yards on 3 touches. And he only had to break 2 arm tackles on those 3 carries. So on the three plays when the Bears didn’t play tackle football he gained 205 yards and on the other 17 carries he gained 19 yards. Not bad at all. So here is a suggestion, Chicago play tackle football every week no matter what.
Score Minnesota 34 Chicago 31
Down in Florida they grow some fine citrus. Cleo Lemon is not yet ripe. Leave him on the tree a while and he could be. Is it just me or is the Curse of Dan Marino alive and well in Miami??? Romeo, Romeo where for art thou Romeo? Are you in Cleveland? Well, when baseball is over the Browns will get the scrutiny they deserve. Nice win against a 0-5 team, nice defensive game plan you had drawn up against a Quarterback making his first start. What else is there to say? Ho hum the Browns win again.
Score Miami 31 Cleveland 41.
At the great soon to be “Frozen Tundra” The Washington Redskins came to town with all the vigor of a sloth. Maybe it is just me but they look real slow in the “Diaper contents” yellow uniforms. Not sure why the often injured Santana Moss came back to play in this game but it cost the Redskins dearly. His fumble turned what many fans claimed to be a game on consequence into another miracle win for Brett Farve. Last week he tied the record for most interceptions in a career, this week he pushed the record out by 2.
Core Washington 14 Green Bay 17.
Houston we have a problem. Apparently Matt Schuab is not the great and wonderful quarterback you traded for in the off season. 19 of 31 is not bad but you have to get the ball in the end zone. Another couple of performances like that and you will be run out on the rail. Jacksonville is playing very well. Not much to say about this one. Jacksonville ran through Houston like a knife through hot butter. And spread it on thick in the fourth with 21 points.
Score Jacksonville 37 Houston 17.
If there is a team with fewer unused brains cells I want them to stand up and be counted. Cincinnati is a wonderful sewer of a city. They have the Reds, Racial Profiling, and they are in Ohio. But aside from that, the Bengal’s are horrid, they have no heart, no Discipline, and not much desire. The NFL is made up of Haves and Have not’s the Bengal’s fall into both Categories. They HAVE some of the worst effort in the NFL and the HAVE NOT gotten to the half way point in the season. Did I mention that Cincinnati is where Chris Collinsworth Learned the NFL ropes? Things are beginning to make more sense now. Hey Herm Edwards don’t think you are off the hook. Next week maybe we will discuss your fine work.
Score Kansas City 27 Cincinnati 20
Now for something completely different, Vince Young drove the Titans down and scored the game tying touchdown to send the game in to overtime. Oh Wait Vince Young was out, no wonder Tennessee lost. Nobody told the crazy Mexican Canadian (Jeff Garcia who played in the Canadian Football League) that the game was going to overtime, he drove the Buccaneers to a game winning field goal with no time left on the clock. Now I ask you, “is that fair”, heck no. Some Tennessee Fans were heard to say after the game that they wish that the Buccaneers had left Jeff Garcia under their Buccan hats.
Final score Tampa Bay 13 Tennessee 10.
It’s not easy being green, and the Jets showed us a new trick on Sunday. The Jets decided to hide from the Pigskin like Kermit the Frog hides from Ms Piggy, and dressed in Blue uniforms like the cookie monster. But Philadelphia treated the, blue clad, Jets like Bert does Ernie after night of hard drinking and drugs. Nothing left to do but kiss Mr. Hooper bye. How long will the Fans of the Jets, if there are any left, have to endure Chad Pennington as the Quarterback? The time is long past to give up on this weak arm, and even weaker minded QB. I don’t think I have seen passes this bad since the Junior High Dance. Arms flying around shoulders trying to touch boobies….
Final Score Eagles 16 Jets 7
Mr. All everything Jake Delhomme, is down for the year so the Carolina Panthers turned to their reliable Backup Quarterback Vinny Testeverde. Vinny didn’t know he was still playing in the NFL until Carolina called him on Wednesday. Once Vinny agreed to terms he went straight to training camp and learned the offense and started on Sunday. Let me repeat that “he learned the offense from Wednesday to Sunday”. It looked like to me the Carolina offense consisted of throwing it deep to Steve Smith. Not sure how much more you could learn from Wednesday to Sunday? Kurt Warner was not going to let Matt Leinart up stage him again by getting hurt last week, so he fell under Julius Peppers, and sprained his elbow. “Ha Matt Leinart anything you can do I can do better” was all that was heard from Kurt Warner has he left the field. Do I have to keep saying it, “These are the Cardinals.”
Score Carolina 25 Cardinals 10.
In San Diego, Norv Turn had another prom date like afternoon. He scored on the Raiders like some drunken sailor home on leave. And it would have been worse but the calm and cool hand of Phillip Rivers tossed the Raiders a bone. The Raiders returned it for touchdown. Afterward LaDainian Tomlinson scored two more touchdowns to put the game out of reach even with Rivers help. And my Comment on the Blue Uniforms that the Chargers through out there, not too bad. If I lived in San Diego, and had disposable income from a business that employed illegal aliens, I might buy one.
Final Score Raiders 14 Chargers 28
Okay and now to the game all of you have been waiting on me to comment on. “The Duel in Dallas”, the “Game of the Century”, the most important game to ever be played in the history of the NFL, and anything else you want to call it. This game did not live up to the hype, but when do they. Tom Brady’s God is better than Tony Romo’s Devil. The Cowboys played an average game, they had too many penalties called on them and their depleted secondary was overmatched most of the day. The Cowboys of 07 have not started fast in any game and that didn’t bode well for them. Thus they took it hard on the chin. I am disappointed, I was hoping for a better game, but “it is what it is” to quote the Tuna Cake. Now, as for the commentators I am not sure who sucked whom the most but Randy Moss and Tom Brady should not have to wash their under carriage any for the next week Phil Simms and Jim Nance took care of that for them. Maybe I was a little jealous but damn, a little objectivity is what a true fan wants. But that is not what you delivered boys. I had my popcorn ready but instead of salt I had Randy Moss Urine on it not very tasty, unless my name was Phil Simms.
Final Score New England 48 Dallas 27
Could you feel the emotion building, coming to a climax, in the great Northwest? A couple of weeks ago I asked if you knew what they do in the Northwest “they chop down trees, eat their lunch and beat the 49ers.” I left out another line that at the moment was not appropriate, today it is. I am not sure now if they chop down trees, looks like they give their lunch away, but for sure they wear panties and a bra. For the Second week in a row Seattle Seahawks you are the birth cannel team of the weak. You played like soft little patch of fur. I am so disappointed in Seattle I may never watch reruns of Frasier again. Reggie Bush ran past you like he was stealing a television. Looking closer at the stats of the Greatest Running back of all time in the history of the NFL, Mr. Bush had 19 carries for 97 yards almost a hundred and 8 catches for 67 yards. Reggie had his longest run from scrimmage 22 yards, his second longest run from scrimmage 21 yards, and one carry for 19. 3 carries for 62 yards, that is great you kept them off balance all night. (16 carries for 35 yards 2.2 yards per carry) He only had the one Fumble so that was good. Wow What a game All the Experts (except for Chris Collinsworth) said the Saints would be the first team to get their first win, out of the 3 winless teams going into this weekends play. But no one had them picked to win this game. I guess Sean Payton figured out to coach again once he got a breath of fresh Northwest Air and not the stagnant air in New Orleans.
Final Score Seattle 28 New Orleans 17, very disappointing….
Hey Giants fans can you feel the wind in your hair? Can you hear the clicking sound as each game approaches? That is the chain dragging you and your band wagon up to the top of the rails as your roller coaster ride continues. My god it is either Thanksgiving day in the United States or Thanksgiving day in Somalia, feast or famine. Are we going to wait until you get to 6-2 this year before you start losing focus and blaming the coach and try to widen the gap between the front teeth of Michael Strahan??? Currently you have 2 more weeks to go. Lets all gear up now for the collapse we know they are going to have. Avoid the rush, burn your Giants gear now. Question: Do you know what the call a receiver that can’t catch the ball?? Answer a safety. Question: Do you know what they call a Safety who can’t tackle?? Answer an Atlanta Falcons Receiver. I have seen better hands on clock, Edward Scissor hands had better excuses than you did dropping all those passes last night but hey Joey Harrington deserved it right, he came from Detroit, albeit thru Miami. At least when Michael Vick was there, and you dropped a pass you didn’t know if he was going to choke, and drown you in the hot tub in the training room now did you??? There was a fear factor right? Now you drop passes and there are no consequences. Maybe Bobby Petrino should start giving failing grades to his student athletes? Oh wait a minute these guys are in the NFL, which stands for Not For Long, if you keep dropping the ball.
Final Score was New York Football Giants 31 Atlanta 10.
Well I hope everyone enjoys this has much as I enjoyed putting it together. Be sure to stay tuned next week for another riveting weekly installment of “Stroll down NFL Boulevard.
And Remember like I always say.
Let us talk about the Game before the game. The “Pre game” as it were. There are currently 5 pre game shows. Together they would be a jumbled up mess, however some networks go out of their way to screw it up. I have a couple of comments:
1. CBS: What does the horse mouth Shannon Sharpe bring to the table but those huge teeth??? I have not found anything he said to be remotely funny, or intelligent. Everyone there needs to stop laughing when he says something because it just encourages him to speak again. Hey Shannon “find some cable access show to be on in Canada” because you are terrible.
2. ESPN: Tom Jackson is probably the best in the business. He can tell you what is supposed to happen when it should happen and why it didn’t happen. Hey, ESPN you should have a 15 minute segment, let him talk and be done. Keyshaun Johnson should be catching passes or coaching for U$C… and Emmitt Smith, I love you man, but your Momma should have told you not to talk with your mouth full. I thought Quincy Carter had a hard time getting out of the way of his big horse tongue, but you, my friend, are terrible. And why oh why would anyone want to give the huge Tuna Cake a job? Bill Parcells brings his unique thoughts to the ESPN pre game show. I guess they only wanted someone who could create a lucent thought 58% of the time. Hey ESPN careful what you wish for you might just get it?
3. Fox Sports Network: This might the best one out there. However they tape their show on Thursday and start showing it over and over beating the horse until it has been dead for 2 days. Stop it!!! Please; I heard what you had to say two days ago. New information has come out and you keep reporting the same thing. If you want up to the minute last Thursday information this is the show to watch. It is great on Friday, but Sunday Morning I want a little more than Thursday news. If I want to hear about Last Thursday I will reread the newspaper.
4. Fox: Kurt Menefee I don’t have a problem with you but you are no James Brown, or Bob Costas for that matter. Reading the Local Sports is fine where ever you want to do it, Dallas, New York, Los Angles. Fine just read it, but do not, I repeat do not, engage these panelist in conversation it only shows how stupid they are. Jimmy Johnson had 2, count them 2, great seasons with 3, possibly 5 to 7 without the East coast bias, Hall of Famers on your team in their prime, don’t tell me you did anything in Miami but collect money to buy the Boat that you now live on. Your legacy may live on just like someone else we know that won two Super bowls but nothing else, Huh Tuna Cakes??? .
5. NBC: Are you trying to kill Primetime Football? Chris Collinsworth should team up with Tiki Barber in some suicide pact. If all you do is say the first thing that comes into your head someone should censor you by cutting off your head so you make no more stupid points. I have listened to Chris for years in the Booth and Lucent NFL points were hard for him to come by. Then when CBS lost him to NBC, they got down on their knees and thanked the heavens above. If any thing intelligent came out of his mouth it would be a first. Bob Costas should say “Thanks Chris for your comments we are all dumber now”.
After that beating let us get started on the games.
You know what 11minus 8 equals??? 0-6. poor St Louis out of your 11 offensive starters on opening day you have 3 left, you can’t win many games with backups or backups to backups. I wish you well, Baltimore on the other hand, you should be proud you held a team of backups to 3 points. Your vaunted defense is really laying the wood to folks. But your offense Scored 6 times which is fabulous. 5 field goals and one touchdown, yeomen’s work. St Louis might be struggling but Baltimore you should bury the teams you are supposed to bury.
Score Baltimore 22 St Louis 3.
Someone must have told the Bears that the Viqueens were going to be Bear hunting in the suit Homer Simpson wore when he went bear hunting, because they rolled over and played dead. I know the score, but gosh almighty this is tackle football. Did anyone tell the Bear defense that before the game? This is not touch Football. Let’s take a look at the stats. Adrian Peterson had 20 carries for 224 yards. A further look shows this break down, one rush of 73, one for 67 and one for 35. Wow that is 205 yards on 3 touches. And he only had to break 2 arm tackles on those 3 carries. So on the three plays when the Bears didn’t play tackle football he gained 205 yards and on the other 17 carries he gained 19 yards. Not bad at all. So here is a suggestion, Chicago play tackle football every week no matter what.
Score Minnesota 34 Chicago 31
Down in Florida they grow some fine citrus. Cleo Lemon is not yet ripe. Leave him on the tree a while and he could be. Is it just me or is the Curse of Dan Marino alive and well in Miami??? Romeo, Romeo where for art thou Romeo? Are you in Cleveland? Well, when baseball is over the Browns will get the scrutiny they deserve. Nice win against a 0-5 team, nice defensive game plan you had drawn up against a Quarterback making his first start. What else is there to say? Ho hum the Browns win again.
Score Miami 31 Cleveland 41.
At the great soon to be “Frozen Tundra” The Washington Redskins came to town with all the vigor of a sloth. Maybe it is just me but they look real slow in the “Diaper contents” yellow uniforms. Not sure why the often injured Santana Moss came back to play in this game but it cost the Redskins dearly. His fumble turned what many fans claimed to be a game on consequence into another miracle win for Brett Farve. Last week he tied the record for most interceptions in a career, this week he pushed the record out by 2.
Core Washington 14 Green Bay 17.
Houston we have a problem. Apparently Matt Schuab is not the great and wonderful quarterback you traded for in the off season. 19 of 31 is not bad but you have to get the ball in the end zone. Another couple of performances like that and you will be run out on the rail. Jacksonville is playing very well. Not much to say about this one. Jacksonville ran through Houston like a knife through hot butter. And spread it on thick in the fourth with 21 points.
Score Jacksonville 37 Houston 17.
If there is a team with fewer unused brains cells I want them to stand up and be counted. Cincinnati is a wonderful sewer of a city. They have the Reds, Racial Profiling, and they are in Ohio. But aside from that, the Bengal’s are horrid, they have no heart, no Discipline, and not much desire. The NFL is made up of Haves and Have not’s the Bengal’s fall into both Categories. They HAVE some of the worst effort in the NFL and the HAVE NOT gotten to the half way point in the season. Did I mention that Cincinnati is where Chris Collinsworth Learned the NFL ropes? Things are beginning to make more sense now. Hey Herm Edwards don’t think you are off the hook. Next week maybe we will discuss your fine work.
Score Kansas City 27 Cincinnati 20
Now for something completely different, Vince Young drove the Titans down and scored the game tying touchdown to send the game in to overtime. Oh Wait Vince Young was out, no wonder Tennessee lost. Nobody told the crazy Mexican Canadian (Jeff Garcia who played in the Canadian Football League) that the game was going to overtime, he drove the Buccaneers to a game winning field goal with no time left on the clock. Now I ask you, “is that fair”, heck no. Some Tennessee Fans were heard to say after the game that they wish that the Buccaneers had left Jeff Garcia under their Buccan hats.
Final score Tampa Bay 13 Tennessee 10.
It’s not easy being green, and the Jets showed us a new trick on Sunday. The Jets decided to hide from the Pigskin like Kermit the Frog hides from Ms Piggy, and dressed in Blue uniforms like the cookie monster. But Philadelphia treated the, blue clad, Jets like Bert does Ernie after night of hard drinking and drugs. Nothing left to do but kiss Mr. Hooper bye. How long will the Fans of the Jets, if there are any left, have to endure Chad Pennington as the Quarterback? The time is long past to give up on this weak arm, and even weaker minded QB. I don’t think I have seen passes this bad since the Junior High Dance. Arms flying around shoulders trying to touch boobies….
Final Score Eagles 16 Jets 7
Mr. All everything Jake Delhomme, is down for the year so the Carolina Panthers turned to their reliable Backup Quarterback Vinny Testeverde. Vinny didn’t know he was still playing in the NFL until Carolina called him on Wednesday. Once Vinny agreed to terms he went straight to training camp and learned the offense and started on Sunday. Let me repeat that “he learned the offense from Wednesday to Sunday”. It looked like to me the Carolina offense consisted of throwing it deep to Steve Smith. Not sure how much more you could learn from Wednesday to Sunday? Kurt Warner was not going to let Matt Leinart up stage him again by getting hurt last week, so he fell under Julius Peppers, and sprained his elbow. “Ha Matt Leinart anything you can do I can do better” was all that was heard from Kurt Warner has he left the field. Do I have to keep saying it, “These are the Cardinals.”
Score Carolina 25 Cardinals 10.
In San Diego, Norv Turn had another prom date like afternoon. He scored on the Raiders like some drunken sailor home on leave. And it would have been worse but the calm and cool hand of Phillip Rivers tossed the Raiders a bone. The Raiders returned it for touchdown. Afterward LaDainian Tomlinson scored two more touchdowns to put the game out of reach even with Rivers help. And my Comment on the Blue Uniforms that the Chargers through out there, not too bad. If I lived in San Diego, and had disposable income from a business that employed illegal aliens, I might buy one.
Final Score Raiders 14 Chargers 28
Okay and now to the game all of you have been waiting on me to comment on. “The Duel in Dallas”, the “Game of the Century”, the most important game to ever be played in the history of the NFL, and anything else you want to call it. This game did not live up to the hype, but when do they. Tom Brady’s God is better than Tony Romo’s Devil. The Cowboys played an average game, they had too many penalties called on them and their depleted secondary was overmatched most of the day. The Cowboys of 07 have not started fast in any game and that didn’t bode well for them. Thus they took it hard on the chin. I am disappointed, I was hoping for a better game, but “it is what it is” to quote the Tuna Cake. Now, as for the commentators I am not sure who sucked whom the most but Randy Moss and Tom Brady should not have to wash their under carriage any for the next week Phil Simms and Jim Nance took care of that for them. Maybe I was a little jealous but damn, a little objectivity is what a true fan wants. But that is not what you delivered boys. I had my popcorn ready but instead of salt I had Randy Moss Urine on it not very tasty, unless my name was Phil Simms.
Final Score New England 48 Dallas 27
Could you feel the emotion building, coming to a climax, in the great Northwest? A couple of weeks ago I asked if you knew what they do in the Northwest “they chop down trees, eat their lunch and beat the 49ers.” I left out another line that at the moment was not appropriate, today it is. I am not sure now if they chop down trees, looks like they give their lunch away, but for sure they wear panties and a bra. For the Second week in a row Seattle Seahawks you are the birth cannel team of the weak. You played like soft little patch of fur. I am so disappointed in Seattle I may never watch reruns of Frasier again. Reggie Bush ran past you like he was stealing a television. Looking closer at the stats of the Greatest Running back of all time in the history of the NFL, Mr. Bush had 19 carries for 97 yards almost a hundred and 8 catches for 67 yards. Reggie had his longest run from scrimmage 22 yards, his second longest run from scrimmage 21 yards, and one carry for 19. 3 carries for 62 yards, that is great you kept them off balance all night. (16 carries for 35 yards 2.2 yards per carry) He only had the one Fumble so that was good. Wow What a game All the Experts (except for Chris Collinsworth) said the Saints would be the first team to get their first win, out of the 3 winless teams going into this weekends play. But no one had them picked to win this game. I guess Sean Payton figured out to coach again once he got a breath of fresh Northwest Air and not the stagnant air in New Orleans.
Final Score Seattle 28 New Orleans 17, very disappointing….
Hey Giants fans can you feel the wind in your hair? Can you hear the clicking sound as each game approaches? That is the chain dragging you and your band wagon up to the top of the rails as your roller coaster ride continues. My god it is either Thanksgiving day in the United States or Thanksgiving day in Somalia, feast or famine. Are we going to wait until you get to 6-2 this year before you start losing focus and blaming the coach and try to widen the gap between the front teeth of Michael Strahan??? Currently you have 2 more weeks to go. Lets all gear up now for the collapse we know they are going to have. Avoid the rush, burn your Giants gear now. Question: Do you know what the call a receiver that can’t catch the ball?? Answer a safety. Question: Do you know what they call a Safety who can’t tackle?? Answer an Atlanta Falcons Receiver. I have seen better hands on clock, Edward Scissor hands had better excuses than you did dropping all those passes last night but hey Joey Harrington deserved it right, he came from Detroit, albeit thru Miami. At least when Michael Vick was there, and you dropped a pass you didn’t know if he was going to choke, and drown you in the hot tub in the training room now did you??? There was a fear factor right? Now you drop passes and there are no consequences. Maybe Bobby Petrino should start giving failing grades to his student athletes? Oh wait a minute these guys are in the NFL, which stands for Not For Long, if you keep dropping the ball.
Final Score was New York Football Giants 31 Atlanta 10.
Well I hope everyone enjoys this has much as I enjoyed putting it together. Be sure to stay tuned next week for another riveting weekly installment of “Stroll down NFL Boulevard.
And Remember like I always say.
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