Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 16

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 16


Christmas time is here, happiness and cheer, fun for all that children call their favorite time of year the playoffs. (Sung to Charlie Brown Christmas). Wow we have answers to questions we longed to know. Things stuffed in our stockings that we didn’t know we needed or wanted. So with yet another busy weekend let’s get to it!!!! Start the music.

We shall start in St Louis, what a magical night with Marshall Faulk having is number raised to the rafters of the Edward D. Jones Dome. We are glad that he could be honored in front of the fans that cheered him through out his career. Hardly anyone else in the rest of the country could watch as this was another game on the NFL network. The Rams showed just exactly why they need Marshall Faulk, 15 carries for 90 yards, not much there. Well the most exciting thing that happened in this game was that Willie Parker broke his leg and now he is out for the rest of the playoffs. That will not bode well for the Steelers so good luck. This game was over at half time it is just that the Rams didn’t know it. The Rams scored 7 points in the second half but it was not enough.
Final Score was Steelers 41 Rams 24. Ho Hum. Where is the Egg nog?

Next we move to Carolina, home of the Panthers. The Panthers used their cat like reflexes to score 6 points in the second half. They really put their best foot forward with a total of 216 yards in the game. But it looks like their paws have been de-clawed. Dallas held the ball for 39 minutes in the game and would have been more had it not been for the interception Tony Romo threw. Well Terrell Owens might be out with a high ankle sprain, and Tony’s thumb is still bothering him, Maybe Jessica will kiss it and make it all better. Not much else but the Cowboys win.
Final Score was Cowboys 20 Panthers 13 Meow Baby!!!

Well starting at the bottom again we will move to the Meadowlands. Sadly the fans of the J-E-T-S; Jest Jets Jets saw their team win 2 games at home; that is really sticking it to them. What will you do for “Fan Appreciation” next Sunday? Score 10 points and lose again? We can only hope. Hey Tennessee thanks for the effort 12 of 22 passing for 166 yards and 3 sacks, thank Goodness you were playing the Jets. Well this game was terrible, but we have seen worse this year, unfortunately. Well only one more game this year for the Jets and for the Titans Win and your in baby.
Final Score was Titans 13 Jets 6 Ho Hum

Okay everyone stay together as we move to the west, okay now a little south, west more a little more. Hey you, get out of the water, get back over here with the rest of us. Okay here we are in Chicago, the Windy City the monsters of the Midway and the Cubs. With Green Bay fighting for home field advantage they found themselves in weather they wanted to subject everyone else to in the playoffs. It was bitterly cold; a fine day for a game between Green Bay and NFC north Brother Chicago. This was a game that even your mother wouldn’t let you play in. The valued running game of the Packers was sure to rear its head in the game and crush Bears. Right? Right? Uh No. The hard rushing Packers produced 125 yards on 21 carries. But we will take a closer look and find that 2 carries equaled 81 yards therefore we see 19 carries for 44 yards a meager 2.3 yards per carry. Not acceptable if you ask us. So the Packers had to rely on the 125 year old arm of Brett Favre, who was 17 of 32, throwing the ball all over the field for 153 yards and 2 interceptions. Honestly we have seen better effort from the farm children trying to feed their vegetables to the dog. So let us look to the Frozen Tundra of Wisconsin to find this week’s Birth Canal team of the week the Green Bay Packers.
Final Score was Green Bay 7 Da Bears 35. Wow they really got Packed didn’t they?

Okay we will move east and south, right over there by that sewer pipe. Don’t fall in what would I tell your parents? “Ops sorry he got too close to the Drainage pipe in Cincinnati, he fell in and we lost him”? Not on my watch pal. Okay here in the Stadium Honoring Paul Brown do we find the game between the Bengals and the Browns, the team honoring Paul Brown, that maybe too much history, so let’s talk about the game. It looks like we just can’t stay on the Brown bandwagon. Is it a rickety old wagon or what? Derek Anderson came out with something to prove, he proved that he is not a pro Bowl Quarterback, yet. With 4 interceptions and no points in the first half Anderson looked dazed and confused. Then when the Bengals didn’t come out of the locker room for the second half the Browns could not score on the final possession and 14 points was not enough to win. We are trying to stay on the band wagon but something is telling us to just get off and stay off. Hey Marvin Lewis this win might save your job, but then again maybe not.
Final Score was Browns 14 Bengals 19 We are climbing back on again, but very unsure again.

Okay due north, is everybody with us? No North, North are you listening to me? This way. Okay right here in the city with the most crime in the country Detroit, and an epic battle of Lions versus Indians. We can only guess if these Indians attacked the Lions on the Serengeti they would surely perish. But these Indians are more like squaws and Papooses than Warrior braves. It looks like the Chiefs just don’t catch any breaks. Maybe the football gods are telling you something Coach Edwards. This quote just sums up the season. "We've had some opportunities," Chiefs coach Herm Edwards said. "We've had them every week, but we just can't get it done." You just can’t seem to get it done? That sounds about right, it starts at the top. Hey Detroit thanks for allowing Matt Millen to keep his job. 7 wins should do it this year; we mean 3 to 6 wins have done it in the past. This was this week’s crappy game of the week, did any care about this game?
Final Score was something to something else and the Lions won Yawn….

Well we will move south and a little west. No I said a little west, not there, we have already been there. AARRGG you come up here, no HERE. Okay here we are in Indianapolis. Hang on they are cutting another Peyton Manning commercial hush. The Texans had the distinction, at the start of the week, of being the only team in the league with a .500 record, and in last place in their division. All that changed this week as they came to the RCA Dome and got played like a record. Down in Texas the city of Houston HATES the city of Dallas so much they can hardly stand it. After the game Dallas Clark had now they hate Dallas even more. The Colts came, played, and won, not much else to say.
Final Score was Texans 15 Colts 38. We will now pause for Manning’s newest commercial.

Okay can we all stay together please? We are heading west, no your other west, to the Valley of the Sun. okay now south, a little more. Okay right there. Alright the Cardinals lost a 10 point lead in the fourth quarter, the people in attendance booed, with the game on the line Neil Rackers came in to try a game tying Field Goal. Does any of this sound familiar? Of all the games played in the NFL this season why was this one played? More over why did this game have to go to overtime? We guess that when two teams are so evenly matched that a decent game can be played. My Lord who do you cheer for?
Final Score was Falcons 27 Cardinals 30. Is it time to take the cookies out of the oven?

We will move west no until we get to water, keep going over the mountains. Hey don’t step on that, do you know that that is? It is the Hollywood Bowl, some of the finest Bowling Lanes you will ever see. You aren’t wearing the right kind of shoes anyway, now north, a little more okay right there. Here in San Francisco where the women are women and the men like men. This game proved our theory once again that teams can’t travel across the country and win. The 49ers “Drilled” the Buccaneers in the second half scoring 14 points and won the game. With everything wrapped up for the Buccaneers they decided to rest some of their players in the second half. Pride is the only thing on the line for San Fran now. The homecoming that Jeff Garcia was hoping to have didn’t materialize and the only thing he could say after the game was “Dude?!?”
Final Score was Buccaneers 19 San Francisco 21. Get off the Golden Gate Bridge please.

Okay moving north, more, more, what is in Oregon? Then why did you stop? Right here in Seattle home of Starbucks, the great northwest and huh, huh, okay well we guess that is it. The Baltimore Ravens played a hard fought game since they came off their operation this week. They had exploratory surgery to see if they had a heart, no doctor could find one. A team that was already depleted on defense showed us once again that a team named the Ravens can’t win this season. We think that a complete overhaul is in order for this team including the coach, quarterback and most of the defense. Remember God don’t like ugly, Ravens look in the mirror your team is Hunchback of Norte Dame ugly. Nice game Seattle way to get back on track.
Final Score was Ravens 6 Seahawks 27. And it wasn’t this close.

Okay moving at a 45 degree angle in a southeasterly direction we would eventually arrive in the Gulf of Mexico? The Gulf of Mexico? Huh… No not quite, let’s go to New Orleans. The Saints with all their troubles this season including losing their first 4 games then winning their next 4 to get to 500 are finished this season. It seems like such a shame that in the city that has to struggle to keep its head above water that the Saints are trying to do the same thing. None the less the Saints went into the game with playoff aspirations, but left without a prayer. We may have to start calling the Saints the running back Abyss, as Aaron Stecker rush 13 times for 49 yards, with a long of 26 making his actual stats 12 carries for 23 yards. Even REGGIE Bush has had better games. Philadelphia was eliminated in Week 15 but could break though a barrier with another win.
Final Score was Eagles 38 the Saints 23. The Saints are not marching anywhere now.

Okay let’s walk the Sandy Beaches of the Gulf of Mexico, feel the warm water on your feet and sand between your toes. Hey what are you doing? There are bathrooms for that, do you need to go? Well it looks like you finished already. Okay this game can best be summed up with a Quote from Raider Cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha who said "It wasn't embarrassing. It was mortifying if I can use that word. That's probably the most disappointing loss I've had, especially this late in the season when everybody's been preaching finish strong, we can spoil (things for) Jacksonville. "And they come out and put those points up on us? That's very disappointing." Not much else to be said. This was what we call a complete butt whipping. Hope the Jags didn’t make them cut their own switch to beat their bottoms with.
Final Score was Raiders 11 Jaguars 49. You know your Grandma did.

We will be moving north everybody put on your socks and shoes. Are we ready? Okay let’s put on our coat and head up the coast, Follow it around right here to the Boston home of the Sith Lord and New England Patriots. The Sith Lord played Mind tricks in this game but it looked like the big Tuna cakes, a large Yoda looking man himself, had some mind tricks of his own. This was the first time that the Dark force took on the dark force. Tuna Cakes allowed no points in the second half and got a tally on the board himself. The Patriots didn’t go for it on fourth down up 28 points this week; we guess they were in the Christmas spirit. Patriots Win.
Final Score was Dolphins 7 Patriots 28. But didn’t we all know that anyway?

We will now head west, no get out of Canada, haven’t we told you that before? Okay here we are in Buffalo, The Bills certainly showed that they had nothing to play for, and allowed a 14 point lead slip through their fingers. Let’s take a look at some of these stats. The Giants had 295 yards on 47 rushing attempts, but they had 2 carries for 131. So that would give them 45 carries for 164 still a nice total, a very respectable 3.6 yards per carry. Now let turn to franchise quarterback Ellie Manning wow what a day, 7 of 15 for 111 yards with 2 interceptions and 2 lost fumbles. How bad does this guy have to play to get pulled? With his team fighting for the playoffs the last four games he was 58 of 126 for 709 yards and 3 touchdowns and 4 interceptions, and 4 lost fumbles. Way to pick up your play with the season on the line. The Bills were heard to say Merry Christmas to you all and to all a good night. Hey Giants now that you have clinched a playoff birth, will you be able to win again? Is it better to make the playoffs each year and lose in the first round? Or miss the playoffs and rebuild?
Final Score was Giants 38 Bills 21. !@#$%&#*%&#^# Happy Holidays to you.

And finally the last of games on Sunday we will scoot around under the Great Lakes, then into Minnesota. Both teams are fighting for their playoff lives, with Minnesota having to win to get their spot. Of Course with that kind of pressure they laid down Like a cheap rug, Folded like a cheap suit, took .65 cents from the Redskins and showed them their perfumed inner thigh. What the heck was Coach Brad Childress trying to do when letting Tarvaris Jackson try to win the game? Hey Brad you got here on the Legs of Adrian Peterson, did you know that? He only carried the ball 9 times for 27 yards. But you chose to throw the ball 41 times? Now you put your fate in someone else’s hands. Well Washington after 4 loses in a row and now 3 wins in a row you hold your destiny in your own hands, congrats! Win and you are in; lose and you are out.
Final Score was Redskins 32 Viqueens 21. We just giggled again.

And finally we will head all the way back to San Diego home of the Chargers, the Zoo and well we guess that is it. The Bronco’s had nothing left to play for and it showed. In what used to be a tough AFC West battle the Bronco’s didn’t put up much of a fight due mainly in part to Jay Cutler who was 14 for 32 for 155 with 4 sacks, 2 interceptions and one fumble lost. (Kind of like the 12 days of Christmas). We the only song being sung in San Diego was Naw Naw Naw, Naw Naw Naw Hey hey hey good bye!!! Stay Classy San Diego.
Final Score was Bronco’s 3 the Chargers 23. Good thing we could all go to sleep early.

Well that will about do for the Stroll this week. We hope that Santa came down your chimney and gave you everything you wanted. Merry Christmas to all. (The rest of Christmas time for you)
Snowflakes in the airCarols everywhereOlden times and ancient rhymesOf love and dreams to shareSleigh bells in the airBeauty everywhereYuletide by the firesideAnd joyful memories thereChristmas time is hereWe'll be drawing nearOh, that we could always seeSuch spirit through the yearOh, that we could always seeSuch spirit through the year...

And like we always say…